If only you knew!
by Grimmybrol6
Summary: "It is finally time to reveal the curse I have been hiding all my life" replied Carrendra with the pain in her heart all too apparent. A tale of pain, tragedy and connection. Do you really know your characters and their lives?  I suck at summaries, sorry
1. Prologue: Uncle I

Me: "Hi everyone, thanks for taking the time to have a look. This is my first fan fic and also the first story I've written in over two years. I've been thinking on and off for the last year or two whether to write it and finally decided to take the plunge. A special thanks is in order to "TheRenae724" who finally convinced me to do it, your awesome and thank you for the support. And also my dear nobleman friend Paditz, thanks for the support and honesty and I hope you write your fan fic one day.. its just that epic."

Vegeta: "Ok, ok enough blabbering, begin the story."

Sesshomaru: "Relax Veg, your not even in this chapter."

Vegeta: "SHUT UP OR I'LL BLAST YOU!"

Me: "Ahhh…. Ok…. Sesshy will you do the honours?"

Vegeta: "Why are you even here, your not even in DBZ?"

Sesshomaru: "Grimmbrol6 does not own DBZ or Inuyasha or anything related. Vegeta, I was invited."

Me: "Ahah Renae's had an influence on you, the disclaimer was just the way she does it :D"

Sesshomaru: "Yes I know, it's just worded soo….. ugggghhh"

Me: "O_O **while vegeta and Sesshomaru battle"**

Bunny: **sniff** "moving onto the story now!"

* * *

** PROLOGUE: UNCLE I'M SORRY!**

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Carrendra as tears streamed down her face. Her breathing heavy, voice shaking as she let out yelps of pain. All she could do was cry a never ending stream of tears. Her eyes a blood red as her shaking hands moved themselves over to her arms, as though a cold breeze went by. Was it just a dream? No she refused to believe it was only a dream. The connection she shared with her uncle's spirit was strong and yet fragile at the same time, she could feel even the slightest change in emotion. The dream was real, he was dead and it was all her fault.

More tears came forth at the memory of her aunt Lamaya, slaughtered in battle protecting her. The crimson red dripping down her arms as she yelled for Carrendra to flee and find her uncle, yet she was too late. Upon seeing his wife's lifeless body on the ground covered in blood did he snap, the look in his eyes distraught, the warmth in his voice vanished as he told Carrendra to go somewhere safe and the scowl of ruthlessness on his features, a rare site at best told the story of his heartbreak. Yet he would not weep, nor would he show any signs of weakness, he was a saiyan and saiyan's always kept their pride. He gazed at his wife's murderer's with a look of death and hatred in his eyes.

Carrendra hid behind a rock, out of harms way and crawled into a ball, she could not watch the battle that was about to take place. The screams of pain from her aunt's killers, along with the sounds of bones breaking and blood splattering everywhere could be heard as they too were slaughtered one by one and then; a complete silence. Carrendra removed her hands from her ears and gazed up slowly to see her uncle towering over her, he picked her up in his arms and to take her home, his face tight and solemn, his aura a disturbing black and his entire body covered in blood, but not a single drop of his own. The warmth of his body did nothing to comfort her, nothing at all. She held tightly onto his armor and with a whisper at most said "Uncle, I'm sorry" the tears streamed down her eyes. His gaze softened and the warmth in his voice returned, "Carrendra don't be, it's not your fault. Lamaya was a true Saiyan, we always protect those we love and care for, always remember that" and with those kind words, did his solemn gaze once again return.

Once they landed outside the house, without turning his head he muttered in a low grumbling voice "stay here, do not come inside", Carrendra looked up trying to meet his gaze while her hands securely forming two small shaking fists "yes uncle" she said as she nodded. She stood outside shaking from the cold air and the uneasiness of knowing all this was her fault, no matter her uncle's words she knew it pained him and that pain was caused my her actions. Her thoughts were interrupted by a shout, no three shouts to be exact. In all her life she had never heard her family argue, today was the first time in the three and a half years of her existence.

Her uncle came storming out carrying all his personal possessions and typing something into his wrist plate, not too far behind him stood Carrendra's mother and father, pleading for him to stay and not do anything rash. "Brother stay, you are not thinking straight and…"

"NOO! Brother! I am thinking clearly for the first time in a long time. We here have forgotten our saiyan ways. Residing on a desolate planet with NOW only 4 inhabitants and soon to be 3, what are we to be scared of? We belonged to a warrior race, who at our fingertips had the power to destroy worlds and yet by a cruel twist of fate perished by mother nature's hand. We hale from planet Vegeta, home of a warrior race, whose only ambition was to gain strength and prove our superiority over every other race. With Vegeta, not only did our people die, but our way of life, our morals. I will join the other Saiyan's, the few who fight to maintain the pride of our once great civilization. Not like what we have become, succumbing to such foolish emotions as love believing that we can live in peace. Today I lost the most important thing in my life, but in the midst of battle my blood was pumping to a familiar rhythm I know all too well. The blood of a saiyan courses through my veins, the urge to battle, the blood lust is returning and I'm becoming my true self once more and will regain my honor". With that he turned his back to them "I will rid myself of these petty attachments that have made me weak. Brother you may live here with your wife and child or may join me in battle as our ancestors would have wanted".

"No brother, my place is here. Emotions such as love are not petty as you describe them, they tie in hand with the honor and pride you speak of, something to fight for and become stronger for in order to protect. Your anguish should not rule your judgment, it is not what Lamaya would have wanted" replied her father with a serious stern expression on his face, while her mother remained in awe.

WOOOOOOOOSH! A saiyan pod now landed on the planets surface.

"Her heart was pure and full of love and yet regardless kept her honor and her pride in keeping to her morals to the very end. I however, am not like her, I only show weakness, that is why I must return to who I once was, to a time before I met her" he stared at the ground intently, thinking of memories long forgotten.

For only a brief moment Carrendra saw softness in his eyes and as quickly as it came it was gone.

"Fine brother, you have made your choice, stay here, but teach the child to fight, we began to fight at an age younger than she. She is an outcast by her appearance alone, her brown hair is tolerable, but those green eyes are an abnormality, onyx and hazel are of tradition amongst our people. Carrendra is soft, she lacks the will of a true warrior, she is nothing like the saiyans of past, yet saiyan blood courses through her veins, the thirst for a fight will encompass her when the time comes and hopefully then, become a warrior, worthy of being deemed a saiyan." Although his words were cruel, Carrendra could feel the aura around him, it was love, love and only love that had driven him to this. His initial darkness was gone and all she could now sense was love and despair. Love had driven him to leave behind all that reminded him of Lamaya, his precious wife in doing so leaving behind a family, a brother, sister-in-law and a niece, that held a place in his heart as if a child of his own. It was love, that made him speak those words, to open his brothers eyes and make him realize she needed the proper training if she were going to survive alone in this world one day.

He turned to see his family one last time and began to descend into his pod, sending one last glance at Carrendra, a look of softness on his eyes once more. He knew this would be the last time he would see his beloved niece and so, let her once again see the uncle she knew, the uncle she loved and the uncle that was like a father to her. With that he closed his eyes, the pods door closed, the ship began to rise and in the blink of an eye was souring through space.

"Good bye …. brother" was all that could escape his lips in the form of nothing but a whisper, as he stared into space and dropped to his knees. Carrendra looked at her father and knew nothing would ever be the same again. Her heart tightened at the thought of having lost an aunt and an uncle in the same day and bringing her father so much grief.

Carrendra snapped out of those memories as she saw her mother throw her bedroom door open and with a look of fear sat down next to her daughter. "What's wrong Carrendra?" her voice had its normal loving motherly tinge, but her heart was acing. She sensed her daughter's pain, looking at the tears that had stained her small round face, she tried wiping them away but to now avail, there was always more to replace them. "Mother… I… I" was all she could muster, the words were too difficult to say, too difficult to fathom, all she could feel was a searing pain in her heart and lump in the back of her throat. Her small hoarse voice attempting to once again say those words and then something snapped "Mother… uncle's dead!" she screamed, those silent tears from earlier becoming cries of grief and horror as heavy sobs filled the room. "It's all my fault, if aunt Lamaya never died, he would never have left, he would never joined them!" she screamed out once more.

"Carrendra" spoke her mother in a soft warm voice "your uncle never blamed you for what happened, so you must stop blaming yourself, the path people walk on is of their own choosing, it is of their own control, not yours" she cooed as she took her daughter into a sweet embrace.

There she remained for hours in her mother's arms until slumber once again overtook her. "Aryana, I want to stay with her tonight, please go to bed" spoke someone in a low whisper from behind. Aryana gently removed her daughter from her arms and placed her into her husbands. She brushed her lips onto his and whispered, "I love you" with empathy and understanding in her eyes and all too apparent in her voice. His eyes gleamed with warmth as he kissed her before making his way to his daughter's bed and lying there with his arms snug around his dear Carrendra. Looking down at her he scowled, the grimace of pain apparent in her features, even in her sleep small lines formed around her mouth and eyes. "It's not your fault, non of it is. Your uncle's right, you are exactly what he said. You're soft, kind and caring an ample change from what our race deems us to be. Never change, be merciful in battle, fight for those you love yet only when you need to and never blame yourself for the actions of others." He let out a sigh. "You are strong willed in body and mind and one day… one day you will do great things, I just know it" was all he could manage to say before he too fell asleep with Carrendra protectively in his arms.

* * *

Me: "Well there you have it everyone, prologue complete. Hope you all enjoyed it."

Sesshomaru + Vegeta: "Wow, that was dark even for us." **stop fighting**

Bunny: **sniff** "yeah… I feel bad."

Me: "Awe… bunny it's ok thing's will work out, I promise "

Bunny: **sniff** "yay!"

Vegeta: "Mwhahahaha, now that was truly a speech about pride, uhhh… reminds me of the time I faced Kakarot as Majin Vegeta. And hey ..."fingertips had the power to destroy worlds" that was my line?"

Me: "Awe… well… I guess there are similarities. Yeah it was eheh.. too good not to include."

Sesshomaru: "O_O… ahhh… what are you talking about?"

Vegeta: "Aahah... that's why you shouldn't be here, you know nothing, demon boy!"

Sesshomaru: "Bring it on vegetable monkey"

Me: **BANG! Throws table** "ehh.. finally some quiet… see yah guys, hope to see you soon XD"


	2. Love To Darkness

_Me: "Well... don't I feel horrible for leaving this on hiatus for so long. ehh sorry guys, but pre med courses are long and hard._  
_Vegeta: "Among other things."_  
_Sesshomaru: "Ohhhhhh... I see what you did there haha"  
_ _Me: *facepalm* "Sesshy, what has V man done to you?"  
_ _Vegeta: "heyy!"_  
_Sesshomaru: "hahaha take that vegetable monkey"_  
_Vegeta: *vein popping*"What was that demon boy?"_

_START FIGHTING_

_Me: "ehhh" *grabs a stick, sits__ down and starts poking them"  
_ _Bunny: ***sniff*** "Grimmbrol6 does not own DBZ or Inuyasha or anything related."  
_ _Me: Thanks bunny, let's start the story._

* * *

**LOVE…. TO DARKNESS**

"51,52,53,54, I have to get stronger. Uncle I'm sorry; in my heart I know it's all my fault, doesn't matter what any of you tell me. 60, 61 62" grunted out Carrendra as she continued with her sit ups. **crack!** Carrendra abruptly stopped, she knew it was her father coming to check up on her, he still refused to train her. Carrendra quickly wiped her face with a towel and grabbed her sketchbook.

"Carrendra, it's time for dinner." He said as he came closer. "Are you ok? You look flushed."

"I'm fine father, I'm just finishing my sketches" half-heartedly she replied.

"I see that. You'll be an artist one day, you're amazingly talented. Now, put that down and lets go have dinner before you're mother gets angry" he smiled as he held her hand walking towards the kitchen.

He was anything but naïve, he knew very well what Carrendra was doing. He refused to let her grow up so quickly, to maintain her purity. He refused to deny her the childhood she so rightfully deserved; one he never had. She wasn't like their race, his brother had made that perfectly clear. Yet his blood coursed through her veins, as did Aryana's and that was enough for him to understand her lust for strength; but above all her pride. His little girl, only 5 showed stubbornness and yet selflessness he never knew amongst their people besides his love, she would internally suffer after her uncles passing rather than worry her mother and father. It pained them both, they both knew of her internal struggling battle with grief, guilt and loss. Three months had past and old wounds were constantly re-opening, the loss of a brother and sister-in law, of two best friends and a loving couple of secondary parents to Carrendra were too much to let go in so little time.

Night-time was now upon them. "Mother, may you please tell me about the Earth again?" Carrendra smiled while saying. She couldn't deny how magical and mysterious it seemed, yet so gentle and beautiful from her mother's descriptions. Arayana simply smiled, while he half scoffed. He didn't like the Earths influence, sure it was there that he met Arayana by surprise and there that he learnt of the few survivors of the Saiyan race after so many years of solitude and aimlessly roaming the galaxy; but it was not his home. For so long he had now tried to deny the gratitude he had. "Well, it's very large compared to here. It has many forests and rivers. Clear blue waters and a bright baby blue sky where the clouds gently roam freely" she started saying with a smile; as Carrendra gazed at her in awe.

He began to smile, remembering the day he met her under said skies. His smile grew larger and a wave of warmth hit him as he remembered being told of his brother's survival and the day they were reunited. His eyes softened and melted as his smile turned to a peaceful one, he closed his eyes as his body softened as he visualized the first time he held Carrendra in his strong embracing arms, worried that he would crush the tiny fragile person. The all too consuming warmth he felt inside him was much too overwhelming. The thought of the tears he shed that day cemented to him why he wanted to protect Carrendra and keep her from all things Saiyan, which included the Earth. He opened his eyes only briefly to set them on the two women in his life and closed them again.

Arayana finished her telling of the Earth as she saw Carrendra's breathing become stable as she drifted into the world of dreams. She gazed at her husband and felt uneasiness at her core. His smile was breath taking, she knew what he was seeing, what he was remembering and she too began to recollect that day their family became complete.

Arayana had opened her eyes and regained consciousness, seeing the image of her husband and newly born child her heart melted. As tears began dripping down his eyes, she saw a side of him she knew existed but only rarely showed. At this point he walked in, dearest brother-in law with the Saiyan mentalities of old, she painstakingly removed from her husband. "Pathetic brother. What future do we Saiyans have if we cry like weaklings? Kakkarot has proven a disappointment to our people, with this planet still being in existence and now you're an even bigger one" he spat smugly.

"Brother say what you will, but this place will forever hold a place in my heart. I could care less for these people, but this planet has bared me only gifts since arriving and now a daughter" he replied warmly. He walked towards his brother and showed him to Carrendra. "This is your uncle, take a good look at your fathers brother. He is strong and proud, stubborn and thick-headed; but he has a big heart, regardless of our past and the hate people have bathed it in. Hate which I vow to protect you from always" he said smiling. Carrendra's eyes widened at her uncle and he was drawn aback. Her eyes melted and she smiled almost giggling as she kicked free from her fathers embrace.

Everyone remained in silence. Not only did Carrendra kick her own father against the wall with amazing force for a baby but she was floating mid air. She slowly made her way to her open mouthed uncle and landed in his arms, playing with his hair. "Are you ok?" Arayana manage to say.

"I'm fine" he smiled. He slowly made his way by his brother's side "she's destined for great things and what she's telling you is that she needs to her uncle". His niece, this little bundle he had only just gazed eyes on her and suddenly knew he wanted to protect her. This small brief encounter with the brown haired child was a pure love he had never encountered his whole life. It was then he knew he would be the cause for a life-time of pain if he went through with his plans and he refused to be the cause of such cruelty against his own niece.

Suddenly he began to laugh and held her tighter in his arms "you win brother" he said setting his gaze on his brother.

He felt a warm hand on his chest "I think it's time we went inside" replied Arayana gracefully. Opening his eyes and setting them on hers, he placed his hand over hers symbolizing their eternal unity. He gazed at Carrendra solemnly for a moment thinking of his brothers passing and all that had happened since their reunion. As soon as that gaze was set, just as quickly was it removed as Arayana pressed her hand on his cheek. "You can't control everything, be content knowing that he lived happy years and until his end never lost his connection with her, we will meet again in the next world, but until then, live happily with your child like he too wanted". He looked into her brown eyes and got lost in them and embraced her in his arm passionately and tenderly; but deep down Arayana could feel the gratitude above all. She looked up at him smiling warmly and she closed her eyes as he slowly leaned in to kiss her warmly. He lifted her up in his arms and closed Carrendras door as they left her room. Her hand upon his chest seemed to relieve the tightening that had been there for the last three months. As she placed her head towards his chest, his heart started beating a little faster like it always would when she did that. After ten years of being together, seven of them being married and for the last five with a daughter, she would always make his heart skip a bit. Arayana's beauty, selflessness, gracefulness and tenderness made her unique to any woman he had ever met. Her determination and pride made her the woman he loved. He brought her closer to him and tightened his grip as he closed their bedroom door behind them.

Arayana opened her eyes slowly as the sun greeted her hello for a new day. She turned her head looking up at her loving husband and kissed him gently on the lips. Slowly removing her hand and head from over his chest, she removed her sheets and got out of bed to make breakfast, avoiding the clothing that had piled up on the floor from the night before, while putting on her robe. Stopping at the door, she turned around and looked at him lovingly and yet painfully. Arayana gripped her chest "I'm sorry I can't help you more, but know I love you" she exclaimed and began making her way to the kitchen. "Arayana" he replied as a single tear streamed down his cheek "I know sweetheart, I know" he whispered as his eyes blinked open slowly.

Carrendra continued smiling and kicking her dangling feet as she sat and ate her breakfast. "Hehe, what's wrong?" she giggled, looking at the stares from her parents. "Nothing dumpling; you're just very happy today" he said surprised. She smiled at the pet name her father had given her, always making her feel special "I saw the Earth in my dream last night and aunt Lamaya was there with uncle" she said happily. "oh?" replied Arayana from behind her mug. "mhmm and they told me how happy they are since they have each other again and that they love us all and will always watch over us." Mother and father alike smiled at this, so long had it been since they heard genuine happiness in their daughter voice and along with he precognitive tendencies knew it wasn't simply a dream.

"Father, we're going fishing today aren't we?"

"That's right, go get dressed and we'll leave soon" he laughed while saying. As Carrendra ran off, Arayana too began to laugh "even if we had a son I don't think he would have been this enthusiastic about fishing".

Two hours later looking over the horizon, they found their perfect fishing area. Before having a chance to say anything, Carrendra was already in the water chasing the fish. He smiled to himself, they rarely caught anything because she would always scare them off, but the sheer sight of Carrendra like this warmed him completely. Her laughter more than enough to soothe him whenever upset or stressed, something he had missed for so long now.

For hours on end Carrendra had sat their splashing, talking to the fish, chasing them and making a few friends in the meantime that he started drifting to sleep. Arms crossed behind his head staring at the sky, his eyes began to feel heavy. Carrendra saw her father and decided to let him sleep for a little while so she stopped splashing. She got up and began walking on the outer skirts of the lake.

"Ahhh" he yelped as he felt the tightening of Carrendras embrace and shivering form. "Father, please…. Let's leave now" she replied. Looking at her his eyes grew. The single patch of white threads of hair from scalp to roots had never been there before. The tears in her eyes, refusing to cry, her shaking body formed into a ball in his arms, he brought her in close. He looked around and saw nothing but the beautiful landscape; he sensed nothing but the calm peaceful nature. He squeezed her tighter and her breathing beginning to follow her fathers calming down and relaxing he slowly let her go. As he looked into her eyes, the fear was still there but she had become lenient. "What happened?" he replied coldly, Carrendra knowing now how worried he was. "There's something bad here father, something… something evil" stuttered Carrendra. It was at that moment he realized that his brother in some respects was right. She was too sensitive. Her abilities to see into a spiritual plane and sense disturbances had always been apparent and rather than developing and embracing them he had her whole life suppressed them. This incident was his fault, he knew if he had helped sooner, Carrendra would be able to deal with things more calmly, relaxed and realized how special she was.

He stood up looking solemn. As Carrendra looked up at her father standing tall in the sun with a warriors heart her own almost stopped. It was at these instances that she understood how childish she was, rarely did she ever see her father like this. He looked down at her and smiled "Carrendra, show me what you saw". She was reluctant but she did as asked.

There it was shining in the sun waiting for an unsuspecting bystander to come for it, luring them with its shine and glare. "Father no please, do not pick it up. It is evil, it's waiting to take control, please don't" shiveringly said Carrendra with her hand over her heart. He ignored her pleas, he needed to show her what strength there is in the world and that evil things should not be feared, but fought. "See, it's fine Carrendra" he said as he slowly walked towards her with evil in his hands. He placed his hands on her shoulders "now, lets go home". Carrendra did not stop staring at her father and what was now in his pocket, she would have to get rid of it somehow. Internally she knew it was already too late, the laughter of pure darkness echoing in her ears all the way back home.

* * *

Vegeta: "ohhhh sexy time huhuhuh?" *nudges me"  
Me: "Yes.. now shh. Is that all you got from this?"  
Sesshomaru: "It's pretty sweet, but why does everything have to turn out so sad. What's that evil laugh?"  
Vegeta: "Oh is someone scared?... boohoo"  
Sesshomaru: **throws table** "Shut your vegetable mouth"  
Me: "uhhhh O.O"  
Bunny: **hops onto an unconscious Veggie** "sniff- until next time"


End file.
